Living in Zen Limbo and Still Staying Sane.

So here’s where we are at.  We’re still in limbo.  With very little to report on the exciting “let’s move to Spain and start a new life” front.  Very frustrating.  Very disappointing.  And really making life a little bit difficult too.

When the Universe throws you these curve balls, it’s natural that you start to question your choices.  But my mind has long been ruled by my heart.  I have absolutely no doubt that moving to Spain is the bestest, rightest, most superduper path for me and MGM (my gorgeous man), but when reality is strangely showing you a No (as in our flat isn’t selling) even though the Universe had given us the wholehearted  ‘when Harry met Sally YES YES YES’… then you do start to wonder what ace card the Universe has got up its sleeve.

Personally I’m hoping it’s the winning lottery numbers because I sure as hell am not going to spend another winter in Scotland.  

Note to self… buy more lottery tickets.

“There has to be a reason that the flat is not getting viewings.”  This is what we keep saying.  If it’s a Universal, spiritual, destiny, fate and flow thing… then fair enough.  We’ll keep bending over backwards and trusting that we won’t break. But if it’s a practical, logical, material thing, then we need to address it… and heal it. 

But nobody seems to have an answer.  We keep hearing how crazy the Edinburgh property market is… but we’re just not seeing it in our exclusive little corner of The Shore.  My internal radar’s  gone fuzzy and I’m feeling no wiser than the UltraSpiritual JP Sears at the moment as to what to do about it… and MGM is seriously being challenged to keep trusting in the wuwu way of life that we leapt into when we left Hong Kong 2 years ago. 

We’ve already had to contact our Spanish agent (Thank God for Google translate) to delay our entry into the rental we committed to in June… but my heart is still screaming “GET DOWN THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!”… but we just can’t leave without our flat and financial situation being resolved.  Add in to the mix that I’ve already got 2 fully booked Spanish retreats up and running for early November (this was part of the original big Spanish YES flow!)… and the pressure is on.  

I must just add… that I’m very, very excited to be running the Spanish Channelling Love Retreats… they will be the corner stone of our new life in the Alpujarras!  

So, we are thinking out of the box…
we’re keeping our options open… long term rental, short term lets, the miracle sale…. and we’re trying not to attach to the ‘how.’  We’ve got crystals in the doorway…  we’ve had the carpets cleaned… we’ve had a space clearing done…  we’ve shifted the furniture around… we’ve posted it on Gumtree and Facebook groups… we’re visualising ourselves up in the Spanish mountains with space to breathe and lots of golden sun to give us happy, mediterranean wrinkles.  We’re dreaming of opening our front door in the early hours and just letting Sir Maxelot out for his ‘morning motions’ without having to get dressed, get the lift down 4 floors and take him round the block in the dark with the delights of Scottish horizontal winter rain.  And yes, I have done it in my PJs.  And I’m proud of it.  Max couldn’t give a damn as long as long as there’s no rain and he gets his breakfast on time.  He really doesn’t like rain.  He’ll love Spain.  And hopefully he’ll love the Spanish rescue Galgos girlfriend we want to welcome into our family once we’re settled. 

You see… our dream is still alive!

Our new life FEELS great!  It will happen.  I know it will.  It really will.  I feel it.  The ‘how’ will sort itself out… and in the meantime I’ll have another jumbo bag of Kettle sea salt and balsamic vinegar crisps that I won’t be able to get in Spain.  It’s amazing the lies you can tell yourself for a little bit of comfort food.  I’ll start the juicing detox tomorrow… again.

So while the limbo is ‘limboing’ and we’re being flexible beyond flexible and staying ‘oh so zen,’ I thought you might enjoy a few photos from our trip out to the Alpujarras in June.  It may have been our first time there… but it instantly felt like home… and soon it really will be. 

Somehow.

Love,

PS.  On my next instalment I’ll share the story behind my monumental sense of humour failure while out on a property hunt in the Alpujarras back in June.  It’s almost funny when I look back on it… almost.

Happy! Exploring the Lanjaron area in June 2017!

 

 

 

The First Time the Universe Kicked our Butts…

 This week I’m going to wind the clock back a couple of years.  Because right now… there’s very little obvious, tangible, outward frikking movement towards us actually getting to Spain!

Yup… we’re in limbo.

But we’re holding the vision… holding our nerve….trusting… handing over to the Universe… having momentary, mini freak outs… cutting energetic wuwu chords… changing names….. releasing the past… meditating… chanting… singing… begging… praying… ignoring… crying…. writing on the vision board… being super duper calm… and super duper positive… detaching… surrendering… we’re carrying on as normal, except it’s anything but normal.  Basically, we’re waiting for the flat to sell.  This flat is the key to our future… so no pressure there.… no pressure at all.

Back in March this year… when we originally decided to hit the Scottish exit button, we were told our hands would be bitten off by rampant buyers desperate for this gem of a property.  It would only be a matter of days till our dream was financially viable and no longer reliant on rainbows, unicorns and pots of gold. But because we allowed our dream to be ‘damp squibbed’… it was June before we picked ourselves up, dusted off the fear and eventually put the flat on the market.

But a lot can change in a couple of months.
Like, everyone fecks off on holiday!

So while we wait for the suntans to fade and for peeps to decide that they really do want a new home before Christmas, I’m going to tell you about how 2 years ago,  MGM (My Gorgeous Man) and I actually took our first big leap of faith.

I moved out to be with MGM in Hong Kong in 2013… it was the only way for us to be together and we sure as hell weren’t going to let love and life pass us by.  We are middle aged, after all.  Life out in the Far East was actually pretty amazing.  Funded by MGM’s high flying director role in the upper echelons of international corporate kingdoms, it was a world that was completely alien to me and not at all aligned with my heart based lifestyle… but it was also the first time I had ever experienced life without the stress of meeting bills and of finding creative ways to ‘make do’.  And in that respect, I really quite liked it.

Our view to the front…
Our view to the rear…

We were ridiculously happy together in his typical ‘postage stamp of a flat’ up on the 27th floor.  It had a great view out towards Hong Kong harbour where you could see the night time light show on the ICC building and there was the partial green of a mountainside to the back. So despite living in a high-rise block of rabbit hutches… squashed in beside more high-rise blocks of more rabbit hutches, my need for open space was somewhat satisfied by just looking out of the windows.  And it was MGM’s generosity in supporting me (albeit that it was illegal for me to work there) that he gifted me the space to create the foundations for my wuwu world of Channelling Love.  More about the wuwu another day.

‘Glamming’ up for the St Andrew’s Ball, Hong Kong

But the longer I was there… the more I saw the degree of payoff for the big bucks salary.  The sheer hell and stress that MGM shouldered was becoming increasingly unbearable… and detrimental to his health.  Fridays became the nights to get completely lashed… and the weekends became a process for recovering… releasing the ‘protective armour’… sleeping off the emotional exhaustion and hangover… and then building up the armour again to go back in on Monday morning for another week of hell.  It may have been a materially abundant lifestyle but it was totally mind, body and soul destroying on every level. 

The thing is, we both knew we didn’t want to stay there long term.  Our life became more and more shallow… our livers more pickled and the novelty less sparkly.  And in all honesty…I really struggled with the 90% humidity.  One of my lowest points was arriving home with sweat literally pouring down my neck and legs… to then find that I had been walking around with a very obvious great big sweaty wet arse for the whole of HK to see.  I cried.  I cried a lot.  And sweated even more but the air-conditioning was already maxed out so I just carried on sweating.

And so our dream began to take shape.  To move to Europe… to live a simpler rural life where we could have outside space, grow veggies, have chickens and dogs…. breathe… and run a few Channelling Love retreats.

So we kept Hong Kong life ticking over.  I found a spiritual network and began to make friends, we had holidays and nights out and we moved into auto pilot while we waited for that ‘perfect’ moment to leave.

Then, two years after I joined MGM, we received a HUMDINGER of a shock.  MGM’s company was to be restructured.  And that meant no more Asia Pacific Director Role.  Well, all I can say is that when you plan and dream from your heart… the Universe always answers… just not always as you expect it.

We swung between “YES!” and “Holy F*ck!”  

From… “Freeeeeedom!” to  “Oh Shit!” 

Hong Kong is not a city you can stay in without employment… crazy prices mean you need serious stashes of cash to buy a just pack of veggie sausages.  MGM thought about finding another role… the city is full of high rolling opportunities… but the thought of remaining in the ‘treadmill trap’ made us both feel even more ill… but we sooo weren’t prepared for an exit into a whole new life.

It was only a couple of weeks later that the Universe sent us another kick up the butt and made the decision for us.  Our landlord served us 2 months notice.  FFS!    We were like rabbits caught in full beam headlights.  With no future income and now no future home… the effort to stay put was just too overwhelming.  It was time to take that leap of faith.

We were exiting Hong Kong with no safety net and no Plan B.

At the time MGM was a full on, corporate, logical, strategic planner of life… and very, very good at it.  Amazingly good!  His gut was weirdly telling him to leave… but his head was freaking out screaming “What the hell are you doing?!!”

My heart knew without a doubt that it was time to go, but even I was reticent to let go of this newly embraced lifestyle and security. 

It’s one thing to talk about changing your life… but it’s a whole other thing to actually walk away from everything you have and know, to do it.  

But doing it, we were.   

It was nothing short of chaos, fear, elation, trust and not really having a clue as to how it would all pan out.

And just in case our flat still hasn’t sold by the time I write our next blog… I’ll save some of those stories for next time.

Wish us luck!

Love,

PS… Click here if you’re interested in a great flat on the prestigious Shore area in Edinburgh!  

The living area of the flat on The Shore, Edinburgh
The Shore, Edinburgh

Don’t you Dare get out of your Box…

So when is enough, no longer enough? 

When do you no longer put up with a mediocre life as ‘all there is’ to look forward to?  And when does ‘just treading water’ start to actually feel like you’re going under?

Well, you’ll just know.  There will be a horrible, silent scream from inside that says “Get me outta here!” Just like our beloved and desperate Z-list celebrities down in the Ozzie jungle. There’ll be that point of no return and you’ll just know that you caaaaannooot stomach another witchetty grub or kangaroo’s testicle.

This internal call will then filter up to your head and set off a whole shit storm of other alarm bells, flashing lights and sirens as your conditioning, ego, guilt and fear all have a hay-day to try and stop you from clambering out of your box.   And it will certainly trigger a whole load of ‘stuff’ within those around you too.

So, when you reach that point of knowing that enough is enough and you’re hanging off the cliff edge of drastic life change, you really do need to be ready to pull on your bestest and strongest, ironclad Big Girl Goddess Pants… right on up to your armpits.

Our moment was actually back in March this year. 

We reached our point of no return when the increasing “F*ck this shit” mutterings could no longer be ignored.  So we decided to go for it. 

We weren’t going to wait for that perfect moment!  No!

We’re weren’t going to wait on those elusive winning lottery numbers!  No!

We acted on our intuitive knowing and that amazing feeling inside  of YES! YES! YES! 

Damn we felt great! 

Expansive! 

Excited! 

A bit scared.. yes…but … we felt SO ALIVE!

There was a whole new life waiting for us!  We were leaving the grey skies of Scotland and going to live in the stunning Alpujarras in Spain!  Viva Espagna!   

So, when we eventually came down off our cloud  and the reality sank in that we actually were going to do it, this meant that we then had to broach the subject with our nearest and dearest. 

And that didn’t go so well.  Nope.  That didn’t go well… at all. 

It felt like a ‘mahoosive’ water bomb was dropped from on high and our fiery spark of excitement and positivity was quashed into a damp squib of despondency and fear.  We allowed ourselves to be pulled under and drowned.  I was sick to my stomach and I was terrified that our dream was over.

The move was off.

But this is the reality of what happens when you dare to be different.  When you dare to follow your dreams… and you dare to live a life that doesn’t conform to everyone’s expectations of you.

Following your dream takes balls as the world rallies against you…  you’re offered well meant, but fear-based, advice on the ‘what if’s’ and ‘hows’…. and let’s not even mention the ‘but what about me’ card.  You’re labelled as either selfish, reckless or just downright irresponsible… or … and here’s the funny part… you suddenly become the best friend because you’re moving to a country where seeing the sun is no longer a miracle to be posted on Facebook.

Modern day culture in the Western world has squashed the life out of us.  It may have given us the gift of technology and wonderful material comforts, but it has completely and utterly deadened our hearts and souls.  We live in a society that mollycoddles, controls, limits, separates and disempowers.  We are so numb, dumbed down and disconnected, that we don’t even realize how unhappy, stressed and fearful we actually are.

Quite simply, the tragedy of mankind has become its normality.

But me and my gorgeous man (MGM) really had, had enough.

We have since rallied against the naysayers… stood our ground and taken our lives back.

The move is back on track… well almost.  But more of that next week.

In the meantime, I’m off to buy some super strong Spanx.  Even a Goddess needs a little bit of extra supernatural support.

Love,

 

DEFINITION OF MAHOOSIVE
məˈhuːsɪv/

adjective

BRITISH – informal
  1. exceptionally big; huge.
    “you don’t need a mahoosive bag for a night out”

When your heart speaks… you listen.

The truth of what actually happens when you follow the call of your heart…

Welcome to our real deal adventure… the nuts, the bolts, the nitty gritty grime… the highs and lows… the challenges and hopefully the bliss of Universal flow.  Here,  we’ll be sharing our journey as we act on the call of our hearts and transition into a completely new life in completely different country.

They say that life begins at 40… but we say it’s 50.  Because that’s the decade we’ve recently found ourselves in… and it scared the hell out of us.  We decided that life’s too short and it’s time to really start living instead of hoping that ends will just miraculously meet.

So we’re bucking the trend… we’re packing up our average grey life in Scotland and heading to the stunning Spanish Alpujarra to start anew.  A simpler life.  A healthier life.  A warmer life.  A more fulfilling life.   A whole new life and a whole new us.  It’s just me, my partner Scott and our Max.

We’re not what you’d call a conventional couple.  I’m a channel and healer… what I do is well ‘wuwu’ and out there… and it transforms lives.  And Scott successfully flew within the heady heights of international corporate kingdoms… until he woke up and chose to ‘save’ his life and give it all up .   And Max?  Well, Max is ‘our boy’.  He’s an old rescue greyhound… an ex-racer turned professional sofa surfer and the size of a mini pony.

Here in this space, there will be no holds barred.  No airy-fairy dreams being fluffed and faked.  No ultra-spiritual illusions of perfect hippydom.  Just grounded truth and insight along with the ability to find the humour and embrace the lessons as we go.

We may still be in Scotland… but the journey’s already begun and I hope you’ll join us along the way.

Love,

Sally Claridge