Retreats… Land Rovers… and Water Water Water!

Recently in the Alpujarras

“Oh my God she’s here!” 
“She’s finally here!


Not how your average 52 year old behaves…  waving madly and jumping up and down in Malaga airport arrivals… but sod that… this was a life changing moment!

Yup… that was all my over excited brain could think of when this gorgeous young woman appeared through arrivals with one arm flung up in the air in greeting and the other dragging her bulging wheelie bag behind her.  Wow.  It was a mad, blissful moment meeting my co-creative, cosmic channelling, wild and free ‘sister’ Seanin Banrion for the first time… and kind of ironic that we were only actually meeting a couple of days before running our first Open Your Cosmic Heart retreat together.

But that’s kind of the way the Universal magic rolls… you know everything is in alignment when there is an ease and flow and FUN….we had met online through a mutual friend and the superglue had instantly set through the ether, through the internet and through our hearts. 

And I couldn’t wait to introduce Seanin to the Alpujarra mountains.  I had a feeling she would fall in love with them as much as I had the first time me and My Gorgeous Man came here in search of ‘home’ 2 years ago.

And I was right!


It was love at first sight… and from then on in… the magic just kept building.  And I was officially christened the Wuwu-GIJane…. something to do with the strength needed for off-grid life and little ole me driving our big old Land Rover around the rugged mountains… but also of being a bit of a titch when it comes to my height.  I almost need a step up to get in.  Can’t believe I’ve just admitted that.  Hey Ho.

So.. running retreats is my thing.  And it is one of the building blocks for our life here in Spain… but nothing prepared me for the life changing awesomeness of the week ahead with Seanin.


Open Your Cosmic Heart Retreat March 2019


Under the eves of Dragon Mountain, rays of sunlight focused on our guests as they processed, pondered, laughed, relaxed and set their hearts free while the river ran wild below… deep, deep healing… release and transformation… laughter… laughter… and oh my goodness I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much… instant sisterhood with the amazing women that travelled from the USA and UK to be with us… purple flowers that matched my hair… dark rain clouds… vegan chocolate balls…. yup… those chocolate balls… sacred space in the yurt shared with wild vocal gecchos… ridiculous conversations… powerful conversations… secret words, emotions and visions shared with love and relief… sofas pulled round the wood burning stove at night as conversations burnt into the midnight oil… channellings that blew our minds and hearts wide open… heart wisdom that defied logic… insights, guidance & pure blissful presence… Oh no! Rain… no outdoor yoga… but more time for chocolate balls and heart chats… space… stillness… peace… love… light language songs… inter galactic conversations… miraculous… wondrous… WTF!…. magic happens when we allow and step aside… selfies into the sun… icy river water and wild winds… chefs creating culinary vegan miracles and joining in with the fun and wuwu… candles flickering in the night… sisterhood… no holds barred… all is welcome… all is loved… all is freed… all is healed… all is set free… the newly painted pink pool… views that defied our human eyes… inner transformations that set our ‘human’ free to be ALL that we are and more… laughter… support… deep peaceful sleep… gifts of oils, rings, crystals and more love… crown of flowers… our lives were changed forever… and the love remains…


It was hard to come back to ‘earth’ and real life after being cocooned in sacred retreat bliss… but come back we did… aided by a day of horizontal “Oh my God we did it rest’ followed by an utterly impromptu mad day out fuelled by celebratory bubbles on our roof… local wine and ‘patatas a los pobres’ in Pampaneira, beer and buñuelo donuts at our favourite local.  My Gorgeous Man got an insight into what sisterhood really means that day… and a gold medal for his infinite patience at our wild rebellious visionary conversations and wuwu worlds…  he bravely interjected sensible reminders that perhaps we’d had enough when clearly we had, but didn’t care a jot.  Tomorrow would take care of itself.  And that’s when we were very, very, very grateful for the healing chemical gift of Berocca. 



Life is for living… and Seanin and I are like etheric stardust twins… breathing, living and leading our lives from our hearts… it’s called true freedom… or in other words, just being yourself no matter what anyone else thinks!

So, back on planet earth, April was a month of grey skies and the gift of rain… it was also a month where our water supply from the acequia was flowing in non stop full force.  This meant that My Gorgeous Man got to be super creative with water management for the citrus trees right down at the bottom of our land… and we honed the art of taking our weekly 1hr supply in the black of 10pm.   We also learnt that our neighbours all start to go a bit water mad. 

Further up the mountain one of them had blocked off the flow illegally to fill his own deposit… another turned up with his dog in the middle of the night clapping his hands and suddenly appearing out of the black just below the house… then leaping up the terrace towards us with a torrent of incomprehensible Andalucian Spanish.  To this day we haven’t got a clue what he was saying… apart from it being about water.  Sigh. 


There was also a very memorable not so great morning of water flooding and gushing down the hill opposite us… right onto My Gorgeous Man’s newly dug and proudly planted vegetable patch.  Tomatoes, broccoli and peppers no less. 



Pretty rotten timing actually, mostly because MGM was suffering from a bout of food poisoning and not in the best space.  But, out onto the land we dragged ourselves none the less… still in PJs… and MGM tried to divert the wall of water away from the quickly drowning vegetable patch.  The situation wasn’t helped by the discovery that the flood was coming from the back of the neighbour’s overflowing natural water deposit (alberca) … this being the one who had illegally damned the acequia in the first place to take his own fill.  Add in the heavy stormy rains and it had all been too much for that naturally dug storage.



I chose to see it as an added bonus of free water into an area that doesn’t normally get water and just one of those things. It could have been a whole lot worse.  Poor MGM took it personally and rallied against the injustices of people just doing whatever they wanted and not caring about consequences.  It took a while for us to recover from that one.  Days, actually.  It was a subject that couldn’t be mentioned.  And as for the vegetable patch.  We think the broccoli has survived… the tomatoes are yet to prove themselves, but we haven’t given up hope yet.

We also had an impromptu visit from ‘King’ Santi,  the Big Man himself.  Remember… he was the neighbour from down the mountain that came and kidnapped MGM and then ordered us down to his house and got us wonderfully drunk?!  He turned up on our track, along with his wife, 4 dogs and a very big looking hoe, saying that he was coming for his water because it hadn’t arrived down in his area of the mountain.  I was secretly relieved that I was heading off and not going to be involved in any translation of potential ‘water wars’.  Turned out he charged up to the crest of the hill and just pulled down the ‘naughty neighbours’ illegal damn and went home very happy.  He also praised My Gorgeous Man for how great our land looks now.  That was a proud moment.  A moment of being accepted and acknowledged for not being another tourist, playing at living in Spain.

And at least he knew that we weren’t the ones f-ing up his water supply!

Phew.  Really wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of King Santi.

We also now fully understand why Land Rover’s famous saying

“Land Rover… making mechanics out of owners for 70 years”
… is such a true statement.

Because the 21 year old Land Rover that we’d been able to invest in, thanks to MGM’s torturous working stint in Dubai over Christmas… was turning into a step by step mechanical rebuild.   We’d invested in the Land Rover because Jimmy, our 4×4 Kangoo, was basically falling apart. Every time it drove the 2.5km of our rough mountain track … it continued to need a whole lot of unexpected TLC and expensive sticking back together again.

So, in the 3 months that we’ve had the Landy (that’s what they’re called when you’re in the know, you know) she’s had new disks and brakes… fuel pump replaced… power steering alternator done… various coolant and oil leaks plugged … side view mirror that was knocked out by tough almond branches on our track, was gaffer taped back in and eventually officially secured… replacement rear lenses so we don’t get stopped by the local police… timing belt replaced… and yet… we still LOVE her! 

Yes, she’s a SHE and she’s been christened Khaleesi of Game of Thrones fame.  OMG… I love Khaleesi!  We are now total converts and part of the Land Rover ‘cult.’  She is THE business and I can’t believe the difference in driving our track in her… no more bone shaking, breath holding or praying to make it home in one piece.

And MGM no longer just drops Khaleesi off at Lee’s, the mechanic up in Bayacas.  There’s been some Landy ‘boy bonding’ going on as My Gorgeous Man stays and learns and get’s put to work to help the repair…  and together they build Land Rovers in their minds that I couldn’t even dream of.  Last time, MGM got home at 1.30am… I’m not sure if I should be worried.  If any Landy widows are out there… perhaps we could set up a support group?!

Meanwhile it took three attempts for Jimmy the Kangoo to pass his legal roadworthy test.. and we failed miserably to sell him on.  So he stayed. And remains part of this crazy family  and our back up for if,  but more likely when, Khaleesi needs off-road attention.

“But what about Sir Maxelot?”  I hear his worldwide fans asking! 

Well… this special soul has been through a bit of a dip but he’s doing well.  He spends most of his days asleep and he’s developed an unsociable habit of wanting to go out in the middle of the night around 3am.  He comes up to the side of the bed (luckily MGM’s side) and huffs and puffs until we get the message that it’s time we escorted him round a couple of terraces.  When you all live in one room… there’s no escaping each other!  So my hero man, has been going for mid night wanders, half asleep while Sir Maxelot gets increasingly excited by the smell of Mrs Fox being invisibly somewhere around. He’s one very special dog… the cruelty of his racing background is the reason for his emotional challenges, dips and grumps… and all we can do is give him more love and more importantly, lots of space and quiet…  and we’re here for him when he wants us!  What a boy… what a boy.  What a prince. 💜



So, as the summer sun begins to strengthen and I get back into the swing of regularly blogging our Namaste This adventures… I’ll leave you with the amazing lenticular clouds that form over the mountains when the windy conditions are in perfect alignment…


and the stunning rainbow that formed right in front of our wee house… just when we needed a reminder that everything was going to be ok… especially when the Khaleesi’s documents still hadn’t arrived back from ‘Traffico’ and my Spanish driving license seems to have fallen into the bottomless pit of thousands of expats racing for full residency status thanks to the farce, otherwise known as Brexit.


But the absolute frikking miracle of all miracles is…
that we now have…
wait for it…
unlimited internet!



Yes… this little dish has changed our lives… it’s the only one that could just get enough of the signal from Lanjarón masts… so we can now surf, stream, download, upload, join online events and basically do all things internety without racking up hugely scary monthly data bills. 

Life changing.  Miraculous. 

Thank you Universe! 

And also thank you Sarah Griffiths, The Wheelie Momma for helping us manifest it!


So that’s it for now! 

Hasta Luego my lovely friends… see you all again soon!






Friday 18th October – Monday 21st October 2019

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